Your loneliness will not subside, even if you were baptized. By committing yourself to the society, you would only be limiting yourself to a very small social network. There are a lot more good people and good friends to be had, outside the walls of Watchtower.
Have you noticed any pattern from your friends at the KH? You will never be good enough.
If you are a publisher, they have already started reinforcing this idea with you. They are requiring you to put it in writing.
Why do they require field service reports?
This requirement is a direct contradiction to the commands given by Christ in Matthew 6:1-5. I encourage you to read this entire chapter of Matthew and ask yourself, why are they requiring you to record every effort you make? Who is really in charge of keeping track of you? Your Father in Heaven, or a group of men?
Matthew 6:1-5 (NWT)
“Take care not to practice your righteousness in front of men to be noticed by them; otherwise you will have no reward with your Father who is in the heavens. So when you make gifts of mercy, do not blow a trumpet ahead of you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be glorified by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when making gifts of mercy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your gifts of mercy may be in secret. Then your Father who looks on in secret will repay you. “Also, when you pray, do not act like the hypocrites, for they like to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the main streets to be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full."